My Support System

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This assignment is one that has hit close to my heart this week. I have written a few times in both my blog and in different assignments about the fact that about 10 years ago I suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). This was a time in my life that has lead to many different outcomes that I never saw for myself. Before my head injury I was a "normal" happy teenage girl. I spend my days with friends, laughing and smiling. Always being the bright spot in any situation I was in. I relished being the center of attention and even made a living doing that. I was a professional singer from the age of 13 and that is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. After my TBI I had to deal with memory loss, both long term and short term, personality changes, suicidal tendencies, inappropriate mood swings and so many other things. I went from being a student who never not into trouble to being kicked out of class for snapping at my teachers. I got into fights with my parents who before my TBI were my best friends, as an only child they were all I had. Needless to say the structures of my life were falling apart around me. I was told after seeing specialist after specialist that I wasn't likely going to graduate from high school let alone go to college, and forget about being able to really earn a living and support myself. I had to go through hours of testing that would frustrate and completely debilitate me mentally, emotionally, and physically. It was amazing how much using your brain could wear a person down! Through all of this I had my parents. My mom was in my corner fighting for me from day one, but this was nothing new considering I was a gifted and talented child who also had a disability (we didn't find that out until I went through all the testing at 17 years old). My dad who was my best friend up until this point, became enemy number one in my eyes. We couldn't agree on anything and he didn't understand or have the patience to deal with all the changes his little girl was going through. He also couldn't deal with it because his little girl was damaged and different. Don't get me wrong, he loved me as much as the day I was born, but he just didn't understand. My mom was by my side every step of the way through all of my ups and downs. I was able to pull it together enough that I not only finished high school with my regents diploma, but went on to have a semi-successful college career. I say semi-successful because it took me 6 years to graduate with my teaching degree but I can hold my head high because I did it.

After I graduated from college I got my first teaching job within a week and haven't looked back. Well my positives came to a screaming halt this past January. I was working for an Early Head Start program who was going through a review year. I have a difficult time with paperwork because to this day I still have long and short term memory loss, but I work very hard to keep up with everything that I need to do. Without going into too much detail, I was fired from my job for not being able to keep up with the demands that were placed on my by my employer, between doing my job, going back to school, and taking outside training it all started to become too much. I tried to express my concerns to my employer about this months before but they fell on "deaf ears." Once again my mother comes up to bat for me, at 27 years of age, because what happened was not right. Even though I have had successes that make me feel like a "normal" person trying to make it in this world, there are so many things that smack you back down the ladder. If you were to meet me, you would never suspect that I have 2 disabilities. I am educated, have good communication skills, and my social skills are even better. However, when it comes to admitting it out loud it can be embarrassing to me so many people do not know my background when it comes to the TBI. I am not a person to ask for help, and having my mom here to tell me that it's okay really means more than I can explain. My husband, family and friends are all there for me, but it's different to have someone ready to go up to bat for you rain or shine.

My mom is my biggest supporter. She take my highest highs with me, but she is always there for my lowest lows! She never judges me if I make a mistake, but she is there to help me learn and grow from it. She told a co-worker the other day, that even though I am married, have my own house, and support myself, dealing with a TBI is a life long disability. I will never lead a "normal" life when it comes to the things I can and can't do. My mom is always there to remind me that that's okay. I am thankful for all that she does and all that she means to me