My Support System

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This assignment is one that has hit close to my heart this week. I have written a few times in both my blog and in different assignments about the fact that about 10 years ago I suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). This was a time in my life that has lead to many different outcomes that I never saw for myself. Before my head injury I was a "normal" happy teenage girl. I spend my days with friends, laughing and smiling. Always being the bright spot in any situation I was in. I relished being the center of attention and even made a living doing that. I was a professional singer from the age of 13 and that is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. After my TBI I had to deal with memory loss, both long term and short term, personality changes, suicidal tendencies, inappropriate mood swings and so many other things. I went from being a student who never not into trouble to being kicked out of class for snapping at my teachers. I got into fights with my parents who before my TBI were my best friends, as an only child they were all I had. Needless to say the structures of my life were falling apart around me. I was told after seeing specialist after specialist that I wasn't likely going to graduate from high school let alone go to college, and forget about being able to really earn a living and support myself. I had to go through hours of testing that would frustrate and completely debilitate me mentally, emotionally, and physically. It was amazing how much using your brain could wear a person down! Through all of this I had my parents. My mom was in my corner fighting for me from day one, but this was nothing new considering I was a gifted and talented child who also had a disability (we didn't find that out until I went through all the testing at 17 years old). My dad who was my best friend up until this point, became enemy number one in my eyes. We couldn't agree on anything and he didn't understand or have the patience to deal with all the changes his little girl was going through. He also couldn't deal with it because his little girl was damaged and different. Don't get me wrong, he loved me as much as the day I was born, but he just didn't understand. My mom was by my side every step of the way through all of my ups and downs. I was able to pull it together enough that I not only finished high school with my regents diploma, but went on to have a semi-successful college career. I say semi-successful because it took me 6 years to graduate with my teaching degree but I can hold my head high because I did it.

After I graduated from college I got my first teaching job within a week and haven't looked back. Well my positives came to a screaming halt this past January. I was working for an Early Head Start program who was going through a review year. I have a difficult time with paperwork because to this day I still have long and short term memory loss, but I work very hard to keep up with everything that I need to do. Without going into too much detail, I was fired from my job for not being able to keep up with the demands that were placed on my by my employer, between doing my job, going back to school, and taking outside training it all started to become too much. I tried to express my concerns to my employer about this months before but they fell on "deaf ears." Once again my mother comes up to bat for me, at 27 years of age, because what happened was not right. Even though I have had successes that make me feel like a "normal" person trying to make it in this world, there are so many things that smack you back down the ladder. If you were to meet me, you would never suspect that I have 2 disabilities. I am educated, have good communication skills, and my social skills are even better. However, when it comes to admitting it out loud it can be embarrassing to me so many people do not know my background when it comes to the TBI. I am not a person to ask for help, and having my mom here to tell me that it's okay really means more than I can explain. My husband, family and friends are all there for me, but it's different to have someone ready to go up to bat for you rain or shine.

My mom is my biggest supporter. She take my highest highs with me, but she is always there for my lowest lows! She never judges me if I make a mistake, but she is there to help me learn and grow from it. She told a co-worker the other day, that even though I am married, have my own house, and support myself, dealing with a TBI is a life long disability. I will never lead a "normal" life when it comes to the things I can and can't do. My mom is always there to remind me that that's okay. I am thankful for all that she does and all that she means to me

My connections to Play

“You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” ― Plato
"Play is the highest form of research." - Albert Einstein

I have to say that this was actually a very difficult assignment for me. I suffered from a traumatic brain injury when I was in high school. This has left me with short term and long term memory loss. The reason that I am talking about this is becasue I have VERY FEW memories growing up. I don't remember much about my life before my head injury and only have the stories that people tell to go off of for most things. That being said I can't honesly say what thinks would be essential to me at 4 or 5 because I have no idea what I did back then. I do know that I was one who listened to music all the time, no matter what I was doing. Even if it was just running laps around my house so I would have to say that I would need a tape player/CD player/iPod.
  
I grew up as an only child and I spend most of my time around adults. My parents were the type who would be on the ground playing pretend just as much as I would. They supported my growth and development through play without even knowing they were doing it. They encouraged me to use my imagination and  would help to create my own words that we would play in. I did have a best friend growing up and she happened to live right next door. We were able to play together most of the time and cultivated a friendship that was more along the lines of sisterhood. When the weather was nice we would ride our bikes everywhere and just stay outside until we were called home for dinner at night. I would say that one essential play item for me would be a bike! When we were younger they would be our horses and we would get them buckets of water and saw dust (as feed) after a long ride around the neighborhood.  Before I could ride on my own, i had a seat on the back of my dad's bike and we would all go riding during the summer. Every night we would be out there, exploring the world as my mom would say.



One thing I can say is that I was the son my dad never had. I loved to go out into the woods, play outside in the mud. I was the rough and tumble kids that was always exploring the world around me. I was NOT a girl who would sit in the house and play with barbies or any other kid of dolls. I didn't even like action figures. I always have to be moving and doing something. My parents supported that part of me and never made to feel like I needed to be someone else. Even though I don't have a lot of memories of my childhood history, I know that with what I do remember and the stories my family tells I know I wouldn't have changed it for anything!

I do not think that play is that same as when I was younger. I say this because children were encouraged to go outside and not come back until dinner, but to be SAFE! TV was a special treat that I go for my wind down time so that I could watch cartoon on TNT from 7:00-8:00 after my bath time. That was my night time ritual and I do have a specific memory of that.  Children today don't always have the opportunities to play because they are side tracked by the TV, or other technology around them.

I feel it is so important for people to continue to play throughout their lives. Play is meant to be something that is not thought about and is free in its purest form. I use play in my life by continuing to play sports throughout the year. I also go horseback riding regularly. Sometimes we go to the beach down the road and just spend the day in the water. I chose to work with children so that I didn't have to go up and become too serious. Children help to to bring out our inner child and remember what life is really about once we get down on the floor and see the world through their eyes and their play.